Thursday, November 4, 2010
I know that I live my life day to day and take all of those days for granted. I know that I should appreciate things more but I always think there will be tomorrow. Well the last week has been a major wake up call for me. Unfortunately at other expense. I have only met Lane a handful of times. The first time he was about 3 years old. Lane is the son of one of Joe's best friends from high school. Last week Lane felt that there was nothing left for him in this life and at 16 years old he took his own life. It makes me so sad to think that he felt so helpless. He is very loved by his family and friends. We went to visit Sean and Marla on Friday night. It took everything in me not to cry in front of them. I cried the entire way home and then cried myself to sleep. It made me think of how lucky I am and all I have in this life. It made me question myself as a wife, a mother and just as a person in general. I want to do better. Then on Tuesday and friend of mine went in for a routine surgery. When they were filling her with CO2 they nicked a vein and all the gas went to her heart. They had to pump her chest for 2 minutes to bring her back. Thus wake up call number 2 in less than a week. I now am doing more and better instead of just saying I want to do better. I love my husband, children, family and friends so very much and now I just need to show it more. I need to stop and smell the roses. I feel like my eyes are now wide open. I am no longer going to worry about the little things like gossip and drama. I am going to concentrate on the good and not the bad. I am so sorry that Lane had to lose his life and my friend had to go through what she has this week but I am thankful for the much needed wake up call.